There Is A Place For Pity Love
Seeking pity love, or striving for affection from a woman who pities but does not actually love us, is generally a dismal proposition to be sure. Details here. Yet sometimes, doing this can seem like a very good idea. Sometimes pity love does quench the thirst for real love; temporarily anyhow. Pity love is neither real nor sincere love by any means, and I would suggest that no one settle for it for long if at all possible. But pity love is more satisfying than no love at all, and if that’s the only love one can get at times, then it’s helpful not to underestimate its usefulness.
It has crossed the minds of many vision-impaired men to accept pity-based affection when they lack access to genuine, love-based affection. If you can’t find someone to really love you, then at least, find someone who pities you. Any amount of affection is better than none at all, and when one is truly starving for romantic love, a bit of pity love can indeed satiate the love lust.
This can indeed enrich the love lives of handicapped men. Why? Such men live typically lonely lives. Fewer than the usual number of ladies agrees to date these disabled lonely people in part, because an apparent physical handicap puts off most able-bodied women. So, an obvious physical impairment tends to render a person isolated, dejected, and at times, desperate for love. Sometimes, the sadness can grow so intense that a fellow might start entertaining unusual strategies for getting a pretty woman to allow him to hold her hand for a while. Seeking pity love is one such strategy.
Why? Because physically handicapped men have spent much time without romantic love, to ask pretty ladies to take pity on them and allow the fellow to love them, if only once, even when they know that the guy is not their dream guy, would offer some relief for their loneliness. Indeed, the enthusiasm to care that compassion motivates, does not substitute for the thrill of the self-centered instant attraction of love at first sight, at least not in the short term. In fact, should such a helping-based pity love relationship ever take off, questions about its legitimacy will arise; especially if the able-bodied person never quite manages to really fall in love with the handicapped man. Pity love therefore, has a definite downside.
Then, there’s the question of whether love born of sympathy (pity love) can ever grow into as renowned and enveloping a love, as love can that has more selfish and lustful beginnings. Examples of handicapped / non handicapped couples suggest that it can, though like most readers of this, I still have trouble accepting that. After all, if an unattractive woman asked me to take a compassionate leap of faith, and date her a while, I doubt I would. I doubt I could with maximum sincerity. A plea for pity love would most definitely not induce love feelings in me, though I might be inclined to help her through a rough time now and then. I suspect that the same is true of most women.
Securing pity love could over time, lead to real love, because it gives the lonely person an opportunity to show that neither their loneliness nor their disability makes them as pitiable as folks first imagine them to be. People harbor lots of unjustified prejudices about the handicapped and about people they do not know in general. Sometimes, the only way into their hearts would be for the handicapped man to first align herself with the position of prejudice. “Yes, I may lacking in every way you imagine. But it would mean so much if you would talk to me and hold my hand, just for a little while. Say yes because you pity me if not because you like me.” If they have an ounce of compassion in their bones, they may relent and give the handicapped man a fair hearing. Then, they may find that he’s much more loveable than they at first gave him credit for.
Related Posts
- Accepting Limitations
- Blind Hardships
- Consider Dating A Disabled Person
- Society Dictates Pecking Order Without Pity
- The Pitfalls Of Pity Love
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