Does Makeup Win True Love?
Friday, June 4th, 2010Does makeup win true love? Well, beauty may be an illusion. But makeup extends and intensifies this false impression; particularly when it’s applied to attract men that the woman would not typically attract without it. When makeup and other feature-altering devices that come off along with the clothes are used in this way, then this is offensive and deceptive in my opinion.
Consider why it happens so often that a fellow loses interest in a lady he thought prior was a true love, the first time he sees her naked? Many ladies speculate that for these men, the fun is in the chase itself, and not the reward. Men, they say, are simply looking to carve another notch in their bedposts, and once he wins “the prize,” there is no more prize to be won. Thus, he loses his desire to win that woman, as he’s now won her. So he’s off to pursue another.
This may in fact be the case for some guys. But it’s also true that many lose interest because for the first time, they see an unvarnished view of the lady, and simply do not like what they see. They realize that she’s not really as attractive as she appeared to be during their earlier courtship. This example illustrates how the devices of beauty can indeed mislead; wasting both her time and his, and creating much emotional hardship for the two of them besides. He’s disillusioned, and she’s embarrassed. Not good.
Further, I have yet to see any large-scale, independent studies that prove the effectiveness of makeup in securing a “better” man and truer love. Are the ladies who wear makeup to snag men really any happier in their relationships than those who do not? Do they marry higher caliber guys when they primp for hours prior to a date, as compared to those who wear less goop, and thereby present a more natural (and thus, consistent) view of themselves? Do they even date more men at all? I don’t know, It’s not clear. Check out Naome Wolf’s book: The Beauty Myth for further arguments along these lines. I don’t believe that beauty itself is a myth. What is the myth however, is the idea that women need the props to be more beautiful.
I’m also troubled by the use of the adjective “improve” when people describe the application of makeup, clothing, and other devices and chemicals. It’s by no means universally true that these things actually improve anything when applied to someone who is not physically deformed or scarred.
Indeed, whatever it is that really makes each of us beautiful is not so easily manipulated; though many think it is. But it’s not, for so many reasons that I’ll not list right now. Perhaps we can discuss that another time. Oh, to be sure, one’s “looks” can be altered (such as during a date). But if a man’s attraction depends on beauty devices, then the image of beauty that she’s created will naturally dissolve when they’re removed; as frequently happens when she “lets her hair down,” and allows him to see her for the first time, uncovered.
So to avoid the widespread deceptions of makeup, I think the best place to find true love would be in a nudist colony; or at least at a beach or other swimming area, where clothes, jewelry, and makeup are scarce. Seriously, no girdles, no sports bras, and no concealed toilet paper in the bosom. None of that. Then, I can tell immediately if I’m likely to be physically attracted to her once we get to the bedroom. Otherwise, I must wait weeks, or months at times until I finally get that full view. Then, if it turns out that I’m not attracted, now it’s much more difficult to end the relationship because emotional bonds have formed, we’ve begun to intertwine our lives, and so on. But in this guy’s experience, no amount of emotional bonding can overcome a lack of basic physical attraction; nor should it.
This is where the “trickery” with makeup and similar props comes in. Many folks reason that if they can keep their lovers “in the dark” about how they really look, and they can do it long enough, then these other bonds will form. Then, even if their beloveds find them wanting physically, they’ll not leave because departing would be too painful. Emotional blackmail. Now I admit that there are perhaps many “good” reasons to use a “best-foot-forward” approach to life. But when it comes to the mating game, I maintain that your best bet is to avoid altering your appearance very much, because you may impress someone initially. But it won’t last. They’ll be frustrated, and you’ll be hurt. Makeup does not really win true love therefore.